jAck and GWens gUIde to HUGggings durng Apocalpse
by Xrai
Summary: Ways to survive an apocalypse. Also, don't let drunk Jack and Gwen near a computer.


**Title:** jAck and GWens gUIde to HUGggings durng the Apocalpse  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG-13  
><strong>Character(s)Pairing(s): **Jack, Gwen; Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Rhys  
><strong>Summary: <strong>Ways to survive an apocalypse. Also, don't let drunk Jack and Gwen near a computer.  
><strong>Warnings: <strong>crack, cocks, horendoues speelling, drunkenness  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>Torchwood isn't mine, more's the pity.

* * *

><p><strong>j<strong>Ack and GWens gUIde too HUGggings durng the Apocalpse<strong>**

1) it's a good substitut too sex. BEcause in this terrbly repressed century, shagging every one isnt a very gooood idea. EEVen in the 51st century, shagging everyone isn't a very goo idea. so hug. hug your Yantoe Rhyyyyyys partner. Hug your kiddis. HUg your friends. hUGg those strangers in the corner thare. I'm sure they wll apreshiate it. or they'll slap/pnch/kill?nom yu. nomnomnom...

2. IT shows u hu ur enemies ar.. Hug you're family and friends. dey'l hug you back. the person who doesnts is teh TRAITOR!1! THEey canno hug you back because they feel gilty about betraying ur pozition to the invading alienz/using u as zombie baiiit. If they don't hug you back, capture them and interrrrrrgate them immedatly. *HUGSSSSSZZZZZZZZZ*

3 IT WILL LEAD TO SHEXXINH! RLLY! NO IT WUNT YES IT WILL IGNOR GEN SHE IS STPID SEX IS GUD FR UR HELTH BECOS APOAPOCALSES R VERY STRSSSFULL AND WLL MAKE UR HARI FALL OUTT!111111!11! :((((((((((((((((((((((((JACK IS SAED UP THEARE THAT SEC IS NOT ALWAYSS GOOOD. SEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEE<p>

3 HUGGGINGS IS GOOD BECUS IT WILL MAKE UR YANNNTOEEEE LUV U! AN GIVES U SEXXXNI. YOU MUST ALWAY HUG YUR YANTOEEEEE. IN IMERGENY YOU MST HIG YOR YANtoe becoas it wll mak hiii happi and den u wll bi happy ! ;;;::::DDDDDDDDDD

4 rhhys lieks hugs! hugging wll mak rhus happu ad den he will vcook foru and then you wll have gtreat sexxc11111

i can makess acosks lok 3===================================

lame

5hgging zobis will mak dem good agan then they wll nut eat yo, you will make thm be alive a thru the pwer of HGGGGSSS!111

6 wen the hugslead too sexin,, it is gud becos the virrations of ur seXXIN WILL MAK THE BED VIBARTE AN THE THEN THE WPRLD WILL VIRABTE AND KEEEP SPINNIGN.. AND DEN NOJ ONE WILLLDIEEEEEEEEEEEE111111 BESOC THE WORLND WILL FKEEP SPINNGING/..,

77 HHUGS WILLLMAKE YOUT FEL BETTER TFETRAFTER NER DEATH EXPREINCENCE BECAIS IT IS WHN PEOPLE HUG AFTE YOU AFrTE YO ALMOST DII

8 WHEN YOU HUGS ALOT DUIRNG APOLCALPES YUI WILL STREBGTTHEn the bond betweeeb you an you team ppeoplegroop and thn itsewell it wil l be easiear tooo srvibve surviive becaso there aremora peoplen hlepoing outs ton do stff...

9 iiii oves mjy ianotes son much yes ij dok...

100 rhys is soso i lovesss hims o much aktoo realyyy

11111111wen ifl hugsv nmy yanouyeyantoeu he gibes me much secxxxijn withn his huges coks greatgb sexijn  
>122 rhyshb is greatg wehn nui i hugs gim he goves mie much secxxinnm withn huisn huges and ngresabgreats cosk<br>3 why arev syoiu copyujng wat in write

nt copyijg nhe trreaLLY HAS BIG COKS VREY GREATV FORNSXCEENS  
>IAJNTYO HAS BETTRE BIGRE COKS THA RHYES<p>

NO111111111111111 RHYSss hadthe bteTERC COCKS  
>IAJTOE<br>NRHESSE  
>IAMTOE<br>RGHYES

GWENS IN STOPID

JECKS IS SUPIDER

STIPOID GWN

IAJNTOE COKSC IS AWESSOKME SAUSCCE  
>JACKM IS BLIJND AD DOES NOT KNOWN HOWTO MEAUSRE PORPERLT<p>

TEH MEASURJGN TAPE NBEVVER

YOUHB MENARE MEsuaRE YOIUR COKSC HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAHAHAHHHA BOIUYS YOIU ARE SOO BOUYS REALLY I DON;;T MEASUREE MYV BREATSS WITH OTHERE GIRLSN WERID BOYGS

WEHTevre i dun care

fijne we have a tryuce theirb cokcs iarec biyth bigv and betre andgod

mokay yes thatv isj goofn d  
>mayhbe wE CAN GETSTV TEM to sexijngs togater<p>

nkooooooooooooooooooo111111  
>iajtoe is mijne no sexxijns withn rhyes or antone he sis mijne1111111<p>

fijne whater

i diun care

GOOD NIFGHT Jcak

goddk;hui vaego8c xcvbjnkl;.÷;'P[0u8jn7bh jgk ;

_fin_

**A/N:** I was bored.


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